When Parents are not married and they need to make determinations on child custody, parenting time, and child support, they will file a Paternity action. Often there are additional obstacles to parents who have not been married as they may never have lived together and need to develop trust in each other so they can Co-Parent in a way that is a benefit to their child(ren). 

 More and more people are making the choice not to get married these days. The problem is that if both names are on a child's birth certificate, each Parent has equal rights with the child and there is not really any enforceability on what happens with custody until there is an order of the Court. Some people file for child support with the State, but never have legal custody determined. 

 It is very important to take the next step and have all the legal issues determined by a Judge. The court is starting to be more open to equal parenting time (in some Counties more than others). 

 We believe that it is normally best to determine the schedule that is right for your child and your family. Our attorney can help you navigate between the Court may do and what works. Sometimes we have to fight for what you want. Your children are the most important thing to you and we know that you will need help in being creative to find a way to create a plan that meets the needs of your child, creates a positive Co-Parenting environment between the Parties, and provides you as much time as possible with your child.

Child Custody is determined in either a Divorce or Paternity case and can be modified if there is a change in the circumstances of the Parties. Some of the old school presumptions of the roles of moms and dads are changing. Some of this will depend on how active a parent wants to be in a child's life. 

 There are two types of Custody- SOLE CUSTODY and JOINT CUSTODY. In Sole Custody, only one Parent gets to make the LEGAL decisions for the child such as schools, doctors, medical treatment, etc. Sole Custody is granted if a Parent is unfit or unavailable to make decisions. Sometimes you have a Parent who has some mental disorders, substance abuse problems, or for some other reason might be capable or available to make decisions for the minor child. 

 Just because a parent fits within one of those categories does not mean they cannot receive Joint Custody, but the Court could consider these factors in what is the best interest of the child. The rule of thumb is that there needs to be something wrong with a Parent that keeps them from being able to make good decisions for the child; however, sometimes a Parent is not interested in being a Parent. If a Parent is ok with Sole Custody, but may want to have some time with the child, the Court will award this type of custodial arrangement. JOINT CUSTODY allows both Parents to have an equal say in the decision of the minor child.

Another factor that has increased in frequency is the inability of one Parent to get along with the other. This can be referred to as HIGH CONFLICT PARENTING. Your attorney can help you make the choice of which type of custody is right for you.  

The next part of this equation is which Parent will receive the coveted "address of the child for educational and mailing purposes." What this means is which address will be used to register the child for school. While the law does say that the Parent where the child has been living for the last 6 months will receive the presumption until there is another order of the Court, many times the child has been living with both Parents before their separation. You should discuss whether you should file the family law case first and how we can determine what will happen until there is an order of the Court.  

The State of Missouri has a child support chart called the FORM 14. The amount of child support is calculated based on the income of the Parties, whether either Party has additional children living with them in the home, whether either Party patys or receives child support, if there are any child care costs being paid, the cost of health insurance for the child, other extra ordinary expenses for the child, and the percentage of time the Party paying child support spends with the time. The Parenting Time Credit is based off overnights with the child. 

 While the chart is numbers, there are some additional legal issues that play into whether a number goes into the chart or not, what the amount of income should be, etc. The amount of income does need to be above a minimum number for the overnight credit to apply. While the Form 14 does calculate the presumption of child support, the Court can rebut it based on an agreement of the Parties or other factors that would make paying that amount unfair. Not being able to afford the support is not a factor considered in rebutting the presumption. It is important to have an attorney work with you on what is an appropriate amount of child support.

The State has very specific rules on what must be done if a Parent is moving. Pursuant to the Missouri relocation statute (R.S.Mo. § 452.377), a parent cannot relocate a child’s principal residence for a period of 90 days or more without notifying the other parent 60 days in advance of the relocation. The notice must be sent CERTIFIED MAIL. We suggest that you also send this by text, email, and regular mail. We also suggest you call the other Parent to discuss this move. If there needs to be a change of school district or an alteration to Parenting Time, you are required to put this information in the notice along with the actual new address and change to contact information. 

 If you receive a notice and you object to the move, you only have 14 days to send a letter notifying of your objection. You will also want to file a Motion with the Court to prevent the move. There are some exceptions to this rule due to domestic violence; however, if you don't have an Order saying you do not have to provide the notice, you should talk to an attorney to see if you might qualify to avoid sending the notice. This is very important as the consequence of failing to send the notice EVEN IF THE PARTIES ARE GETTING ALONG AND COMMUNICATE REGULARLY, is the Court to require you to move back to the area or changing the educational and mailing address of the minor child. Further, if you do not object in time, you might be out of luck and stuck with a long distance parenting plan.  

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Mediation is when an attorney or counselor who has been trained and certified will sit down with Parties and help them come to a full and final settlement of all their legal matters. There are two types of Mediation- TRADITIONAL MEDIATION and TRANSFORMATIVE MEDIATION. Not all mediators are trained and certified for transformative mediation. Mediation can be helpful in determining how assets and debts should be divided, making a determination if maintenance should be paid and/or how much should be paid, and coming up with a custody plan. These fees are paid outside of your attorney fees. Often, if there is high conflict in the relationship of the Parties, it is helpful for the Mediator to sit down with the Parties in a one on one session before a Joint Session. This approach is Transformative Mediation. Sometimes, there may be more than one individual session which will focus on the Party developing tools to Co-Parent and work on appropriate communication between the Parties. This is more of a Co-Parenting Counseling concept. Often, it is important to understand that anything with the mediation label means what is said in the session is confidential and cannot be shared with a third party which includes the mediator being called into Court to testify. Things discussed in mediation are not disclosed to the Court unless there is an agreement between the Parties. Some Courts require mediation while others allow the Parties to do so voluntarily. The advantage of mediation is tht the Parties get to make their own decisions about what is fair in settlement of their legal issues rather than the Court making the decisions for them. It is always better to try to work things out if possible. Unfortunately, sometimes this cannot be accomplished and the Parties have to go to trial.  

** For more information about our Mediation Services, see our Mediation page under the Practices page

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